Honesty in other relationships
People are interesting characters. The information we share with people we meet is limited by what we want them to know and assume about our lives. I make no hesitation in the fact I am married and have kids. I expect that I return I would be given the same courtesy regarding the status of someone I am befriending. My expectation has been let down twice this year thus far and the year is young.
I assume if I am conversing with a man and he makes no mention of a girlfriend, but makes mention of kids and ex-wife that he is single. Twice now I am been wrong. Why is it that men feel the need to hide this? The first was a colleague at work. We were shopping of all things when I finally hear of a girlfriend. Ok, cool, open relationship of sorts, I can relate. He’s a flirt, a harmless flirt. He seems to have a lot of women around and makes his rounds; more power to him. I can be still be friends, wishing he’d been up front about it. It just seems sneaky to me and puts me on guard after finding out, at least he told me.
The second is a colleague of sorts just works at a different corporate location. We met at a corporate meeting recently. He gave me his card with his cell number on the back. We had a nice time conversing about life, music, and hobbies. I did text him to tell him thanks for making the work meeting enjoyable. I decided to look him up on the old Facebook. What do I find? I find a girlfriend, one who mentioned missing him a great deal while he was away at the business meeting. All the chatting we did, I knew he had a grown daughter and was not with the mother. Why leave out the fact he has a long-term girlfriend? We’ve been texting a little here and there. A little flirty, hinting at more; hinting at him being game for a little fun time.
I’m not against adults having adult fun, but I do expect a level of honesty about their current relationship status. So, I may not go out of my way to meet up later with this second one. We work at different corporate offices and different departments, might meet again at next year’s annual meeting, might not. I don’t always go, I’m am sometimes busy with my other job. I don’t like feeling lied too. I am upfront I’m married and have kids. I expect the same.
Simply put, be forward with your relationship status. Long-term live in girlfriend is equal to married in my book, the partner is either expecting a monogamous relationship or they are in an open relationship. In either case, if you’re flirting with a woman, you might should make mention of having a relationship.