Diary of an ordinary woman's affairs

Life is what you make it.

Month: October, 2014

Being nice is not worth it. I’m going to be a bitch from now on.

Where do I begin?

I let a friend borrow my car Saturday.   The person was in an accident Monday with the car and I don’t have the car back to assess the damage.  It’s “drivable” in their opinion.  Well, their car is in my driveway waiting for them to fix it.

I haven’t heard from this person in the last 24 hours.  When do I sever the friendship and report my car stolen?

My insurance premiums are going up because of their accident.  I wasn’t even in the car.  I was at work minding my own business.

Being nice has just gotten me no where.

I loaned $50 to my cousin.  I didn’t remember I was running that tight and a check bounced.  I have NEVER had a check bounce in my life.  Well, this has set off a mess that I haven’t had time to deal with.  The nasty letter I received today makes me want to write back here’s your $10 fee and here’s your damn club membership card.  The letter threatened to have a warrant for my arrest issued!!!  (We’re talking $60 here.)

These are just the latest two examples of where being nice has fucked me in the wrong ways.  I am going to be a bitch from now on.  No will be my answer to anything that has a potential to put me in jail.

Honestly, I had no idea that letting an insured driver borrow my car was something that could put me in jail.  Live and learn, apparently the car is insured, not the driver.  I am liable to the injury of body and property in the accident caused by someone else driving a car registered in my name.  So, with that in mind, don’t let your car get stolen.  AND NEVER LET ANYONE DRIVE YOUR CAR FOR ANY REASON, JUST SAY NO!

I have usually told my cousin no I didn’t have money to lend him.  I should have said that same that week as I really didn’t.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I wasn’t and that is a problem.

I’m so busy and so tired, I’m forgetting very important things.  I work 3 jobs.  I’m not able to leave my day job to do day time errands.  I work 3 nights a week, I go straight from one job to the next with ZERO time to spare.  When I say I have no time to conduct my own personal business, I’m not lying.

I need to find an end to this madness.  Something has got to give and it can’t be my sanity.

 

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Lovers – poem or poetic lyric by ME 4/5/2014

A nervous walk along a path,

A romantic walk need not.

A picnic in a secluded spot,

And tapas by the river til dark

There are things lovers do,

Where no one knows and no one goes.

Those nerves, where did they go?

Replaced by lust, hot as fire.

Nerves return as lies are covered;

Replaced by passions, warm and tender

These are the things lovers do,

Where no one knows and no one goes

A new lover, will he stay?

Or will his nerves prevent his stray?

Stay.  Please stay.

I have much for you to learn.

These are the things lovers do,

Where no one knows and no one goes.

Heat and passion are to be yours,

Pleasure beyond measure.

You tasted and teased;

No strings attached, no judgements passed.

These are the things lovers do,
Where no one knows and no one goes.

And when it’s over, as the season has past;

You will know me, and I will know you.

What remains is our secret forever,

Yours with me, and mine with you.

These are the things lovers do,

Where no one knows and no one goes.

Daring move, uninhibited fun

I’ve never had one of those “right in front of your eyes” experiences until recently. Several months back I had my eye on a person of interest. He was my type, older, blue eyed, regular body build, and a 99.9% chance of being uncut, but he seemed to lack the maturity for his years. I was flirtatious, however, cautious due to a negative feeling I had.

I have a “wing man” who will assist me at times. He had hung out with the older man without me around and was hinting at my intentions. Let’s admit you don’t look at a happily married woman with children in a professional career field and think that she’s available for some extracurricular fun.

Things were not going in the direction I thought they should be. We had exchanged a kiss on the cheek and a hug upon greeting or parting, but that was it. I decided to heat it up a bit. I invited a female friend of mine out for an evening where I knew this older man would be. It turned out she knew this man a little bit and we enjoyed tormenting him by kissing each other insinuating a little girl on girl action could be in his future. Epic fail. He wasn’t turned on. I have to wonder if he’s gay, we are two attractive blonds with decent mom bodies. Maybe he likes more exotic women.

My friend told me about this man in more detail and I decided my instinct was correct, negative and not the man I should continue flirting with. About that same time, it dwindled on his end as well. Many times it seems I would go to see the older man and he was busy, so I would converse with a younger guy. This younger guy was more and more intriguing with every conversation, however, not my type. I have found myself talking to this younger guy weekly.

I’ve never been into younger men. Generally speaking they have many problems which stem from lack of maturity. Their life problems have not been handled well and frankly their ability to manage relationships in a regular dating world is scary. It’s “drama” and if you’ve had an affair, you know drama is the LAST thing you want.

I came to realize rather recently that the younger guy had the hots for me, he liked me. I started to ponder on the entire interpersonal relationship dynamics between these two men. I came to a conclusion, the older man was aware that the younger man had the hots for me. This explains an awful lot. (This was confirmed last night. I learned they talked about me a lot, nice.)

My wing man dragged me out after I had been relaxing at home with a few drinks. My wing man was an instigator and I’m not sure I appreciate that given the level of intoxication I was under, more on that perhaps at another time.

So, I was chatting with the younger guy again. This time he took the conversation further than he had before. He seems mature enough to handle a little relationship on the side. He had hinted at liking me and wanting me, I was filing it all away in my brain. Last night was the night it became clear I liked him as well even though I would tell you he isn’t my type.

We snuck off to a seclude location. I went right for his cock with my mouth, teasing him and making him moan. Then I bent over and let him fuck me good. I was hot, wet, and ready. It was very good.  Right in front of my eyes…

We will meet again soon for a more relaxing encounter.