Diary of an ordinary woman's affairs

Life is what you make it.

Month: January, 2017

What do you say?

What does one say to someone who has indicated they don’t want communication with you?

Let me flip that as I have blocked people in my life because I didn’t want their drama in my life.  I didn’t want their negativity.  I didn’t want to deal with the pain they caused my children.  I don’t need friends like that.

I still do not want to hear from them. I could careless if those individuals fell off the face of the earth.  However, those whom I’m speaking of hurt me or my children and used me and my kindheartedness.

I was even cowardly and blocked them as to not see their messages to me and to just be left in peace.

SOOOO….

Why would someone not want to communicate with me???  I wasn’t mean.  I wasn’t rude.  I wasn’t needy.  I wasn’t intrusive.  I don’t have drama.  I just wanted to be in communication.

There is nothing to say I suppose.  Nothing that would make a difference at this point in time.  Maybe later, but doubtful.

….

Estoy cansado de quererte y esperar
No me queda más remedio que olvidar
Escuche, aprendí a entender tu silencio
Que hasta ese momento, no dolió
Y la noche sentí que te fuiste muy lejos
Esa herida en el pecho hasta ahora no cerró
Y las horas sin tenerte me condenan
A vivir pensando en ti mientras tú no llegas
….
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Finding Your Way (part 2)

How do you answer the questions?  What do you want?  What is it that you really would like to do?  What is the work you can’t not do?

If it were easy, there would not be a bizzillion blogs about it, or even self-help gurus taking your money to tell you how to answer it with a bunch more questions you can’t answer.

I used to think I was one of the lucky ones because my work was my passion.  I’m not sure if that is still true or not.  Not because what I do is not my passion, but because everything around me tells me no one’s work is automatically their passion.

When asked, “Why are you doing the work you are doing?”  I think my answer is rather textbook, well, I’m good at it.  I happen to like it for the most part.  Are those answers not good enough?

I have a hobby that I love, but I have often envisioned what would life be like if my hobby was my 9-5 job and that vision is one where I no longer get enjoyment from my hobby.  My hobby is my happy place, it’s what I do after a long week of tough work.

All these self-help gurus seem to think you can make your passion your career.  Is a hobby a passion?

But what if I figured this out a long time ago?  Maybe I have just forgotten to remember my why.