by notsoon4gotten

As I sit here at work and wonder why I’m just not into it, I realize I’m bored.  Then I think of the line from “The Notebook”.

“You’re bored.  You’re bored and you know it.  And you wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something missing.”

“What do you want?”  Such as easy question, but there is no easy answer, or is there?

Why am I here blogging while at work?  Well, I’m bored.  Why am I at work?  Money, easy money.  I sit here, do a little work, do nothing, watch a movie, think about all the things I need to do when I get home, and I get paid.  I get paid very well for doing nothing that challenges me.

What do I want?  Time.  I want  time to do what I need to do and want to do.  Then I want energy to do them.

Fame and fortune will never be mine.  The dream of being something more than I am just isn’t going to happen for me.  I’m too old and too tired.  Deep down I do not want it badly enough to sacrifice more of my life’s time to it.

Time is limited on this earth.   I can sit here 8 hours a day, collect my pay check and benefits, go home and live.  Or I could abandon easy and spend 60 – 80 hours a week driving myself to sheer exhaustion going after lofty goals.  I would sacrifice family and self.  Not worth it.

I will be content with boredom.